she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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