I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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