also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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