I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Randomize
