it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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