Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Soap is not a condiment
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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