I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
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