In the future we'll all be gay
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
