if you like me you must not know who I am
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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