This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
