so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
