you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
