I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
