That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
only you would photoshop your dick
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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