Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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