I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
