He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
