so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
