I CAN MOONWALK!
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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