you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
