your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
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