TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
