He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Randomize
