i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
