She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
