I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
