well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
