Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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