Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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