I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
