I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
