STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
