I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Randomize
