we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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