i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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