Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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