Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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