i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Randomize
