My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
