21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
i think im in europe. pls send help
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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