okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
cat food counts as protein by the way
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
