i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
