from now on my penis is your penis
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
