i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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