with your own penis?
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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