i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
