wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
