She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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