I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
