420 ftw
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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