So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Randomize
