Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
