According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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