dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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