Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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