the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
