either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Randomize