i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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