the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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