I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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