we have officially lost it.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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