Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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