"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
