I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
