So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
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