so explain again why im purple
no
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Randomize