marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
