don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize