Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize