We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
OPIZZABONMYDICK
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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