You're completely useless in the revolution.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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