Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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