no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
