after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
The Olympian is in my bed
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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