Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
