tell your sister to shave her snatch
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Randomize
